The materialism struggle (#firstworldprobs)

Ugh. This time of year, you guys. Specifically this year this time of year. Do you struggle with materialism? I do. Always have, probably always will.

This is not a post about what some might deem the deeper and more important things in life - about poverty or addiction or abuse or true suffering. It's just about one girl's struggle with materialism, and who's to say that's not an important thing in life, I guess. A struggle is a struggle.

The truth is, I like stuff. We have this plaque in our bedroom that says "the best things in life are not things," and I jokingly tell Matthew that I disagree... terrible to even joke about, I know.  But I do value aesthetics and the way nice things make me feel, and I don't think there's necessarily anything wrong with that, in itself. I like to support those who make beautiful products that make life nicer for others, and I like to enjoy said products. But there's such an undefinably small line between just wanting beautiful, useful things in your life and always pining, pining, pining after the next thing.  How do you find the line? How do you keep to the conservative side of it? How do you not live your whole life working just to enjoy things? Is there really anything wrong with that, if you place a high value on people and health, as well?

I feel like this struggle is always at its absolute peak for me around Christmastime, when the push is on to buy, buy, buy, and stores are pulling out all the stops and wafting the best aromas just under your nose. It's this feeling of not having enough, which I know is an absolute lie. It's the push to buy gifts for others because it's the traditional thing to do, when you really can't afford it and should just say so.

This year I find myself systematically unsubscribing from store emails and purposefully avoiding Instagram and gift guides, just to eliminate that feeling of yearning for things. I haven't had time to shop for Christmas gifts even yet, and Christmas is in less than a week. Oh, and we should be closing on our house Saturday or Monday, so the next week will be a liiiiittle busy. At this point, I'm thinking about just bucking the whole system and skipping it this year. Not buying into the consumerism, since it absolutely isn't adding peace to my life. And isn't that what Christmas is supposed to be about? Peace? Unless you have all your shopping done by Decemeber 1st, which, let's face it, will never happen for me, there doesn't seem to be much peace around the holidays, and I crave that as much as I crave the ridiculous little blue ceramic fruit cartons at Anthrolpogie. Damnit.

This has very much just been a stream of consciousness type of post, so thanks for hanging in there. Believe me, I fully realize that I have a beautiful life and so much to be thankful for. I realize that even admitting this type of struggle will cause some people to bristle because, duh, it's pathetic. But unfortunately it's reality for so many of us in this day and age... and I'm thankful to at least recognize it for what it is, which is the first step to keeping it under control.

Hope you find peace and a reprieve from the consumerism over the next few days leading up to Christmas.... Happy Thursday... :)

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I am alive... and 27

Last week was something else, you guys. Something. freaking. else. Let's do this in bullet point form:

- 457 photos edited, uploaded, and delivered on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday alone. 

- A gazillion emails flying back and forth to clients. 

- Our truck was broken into and over $1500 worth of stuff stolen, including Matthew's wedding ring. I know, idiot move to leave that much valuables in the car, but it was a total fluke thing (and a long story). I've never been burglarized before, and it's such a gross feeling. Someone came right up into my mom's driveway and totally hit the jackpot with our vehicle, all while we slept just feet away. So much of Wednesday consisted of police reports and generally feeling gross.

- My 27th birthday, which I spent traveling to Wyoming for one of my best friend's wedding. 

- First walk-through on our house, which I missed because I was traveling. 

- Wyoming. Effing FRIGID. I will never complain about being cold here in Texas again.  Our "cold" is literally 50 full degrees or more warmer than their cold. The day we got there, the low was NEGATIVE 17. You step outside, and you can literally feel your snot instantly crystallizing and turning to ice in your nose.

- Celebration with friends. Photos in the snow. Memories.

I flew into San Antonio last night, and made the drive home to Austin as soon as I picked my car up from a friend's house. I don't think I fully realized how overwhelmed I've been feeling, in so many senses, until I was about three-quarters of the way home, and I just started crying my eyeballs out. How am I 27 already? How is my sweet and silly friend Kelly already married? Why does life have to spread us so thin and so far apart? When did we all grow up? 

I got home late, at almost midnight, and my little shadow, Cooper, was awake and there to greet me and welcome me home. As I loved all over him and kissed him and squished him, I started sobbing again (at which point he started shaking violently - poor little guy hates it when I cry). And I felt sad and hopeful and grateful all at one. I don't know what 27 will hold. A new home for sure. A baby? Maybe. Big changes, I'd bet on it. For myself. For my business. For my family. For my friends. 

I want to be a better version of myself this year. I want to put a higher price tag on my time and talent, so I'm not so overwhelmed all the time (more on that later). I want to be more present for my friends and family. I want to be healthier than ever. I want to be more kind. I want to grow up a little. That doesn't mean not having fun (quite the contrary!). But I want to be more comfortable in my skin, and more confident in my abilities. Slower to speak, quicker to forgive, better at love.

Easier said than done, of course. But 27? Bring it on.

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Are you living up to your potential?

Yesterday I wandered downstairs here at good ol’ Mom’s house, like I do several times per day for a coffee break or a lunch break or a potty break (for the dogs), and suddenly the question of living up to one’s potential entered my mind.

I am vaguely aware of the fact that some people in my life, particularly in my past, pre-married life, probably think to themselves things like, “Jenni is so intelligent… had so much potential… and now look at her. A photographer and blogger? What happened??”

’Tis true. I was the brainy one in college - straight A’s across the board, graduated Magna Cum Laude, the whole bit. I was destined for great things, and blah, blah, blah. But don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I don’t think I’ve done anything worthwhile since college. Quite the contrary, in fact. But I am saying that people’s perceptions of whether or not you’re living up to your potential don’t always match up with reality.

As I was pouring my little cup of french press coffee yesterday, pondering this question of potential and living up to it, I decided quite indefinitely that I am, indeed, living up to my potential, even though some people might not perceive what I’m doing as thus.

I think a lot of people in creative careers face this issue, but the truth of the matter is that owning your own business, whether it’s a successful law practice or a greeting card company or a professional blog, takes brains and skills that not everyone possesses. The same skills that earned me straight A’s in college are building me a successful photography business currently - one that will stand out from the crowd and succeed when so many others fail.  For some people, it's just difficult to understand the concept of working for one's self. If you can't say "I work at Such and Such doing Such and Such With My Degree," they're like, "huh? So, you don't have a job, then?"

The point of this post isn’t to toot my own horn, but rather it is to encourage YOU. I know so many of my readers are at a similar place in life as I am, and it’s a place and time when you really start to question this idea of living up to potential. And I guess I just wanted to encourage you to remember that the only standard you must meet is your own - the only path you should follow is the one your heart leads you on. Whether that’s a career in medicine or law or art or PR or writing or photography or being a mom or… or… or… you tell ME.

Just some food for thought. Do you think you’re living up to your potential, and if not, what’s stopping you?

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Does social media make you lonely?

What do you think of this? Do you agree? Do you feel lonelier now that social media interaction is so prevalent? Personally, I feel like I reached a threshold about a year and a half into blogging and heavy social media usage, where I simply could not take on any more online friendships or connections. At least not without my current friendships suffering substantially. I feel that every person you interact with gets a little piece of your cookie, so to speak. Every time you respond to a tweet, every time you answer a comment on Instagram or Facebook, every time you return an email or text, and of course every time you interact in person, you break off a tiny piece of yourself and give it to that other person. Maybe the cookie is replenished every day, maybe it's replenished every week or month, I don't know. But after a certain point, you begin to feel depleted. Or at least I do. I'm curious to hear your thoughts, too! It's such a funny age we live in. We're kind of like pioneers in it, you know? 

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Today's featured SOML sponsors are pretty darn awesome, so take a peek at their blogs, too, if you have a chance. I absolutely adore these two girls. Happy weekending...

Hi, everyone! I'm Rachel and I have a lifestyle and travel blog called Postcards from Rachel. I started this blog while living abroad in Scotland and now I write about moving around every 6 months for my husband's job. Sometimes it sucks -- like, really sucks -- but it gives us the unique opportunity to travel all over the place. Right now we're located in Boston so we're taking advantage of everything this area has to offer. Like Jenni, I'm obsessed with photography and hope to start a business sometime soon! I'm interested in everything expat and host a monthly link-up for travel bloggers, I write about anxiety struggles, blogging tips, and I enjoy spending time with my two nuggets, Malcolm and Ollie. I'd love to meet you so stop by and say hello! 

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Hi y’all! I’m Dayna over at Princess Burlap, and I blog to inspire (and sometimes offend).  

I grew up in a house where The Boogeyman was real and the only rule was No Ouija Boards. I was a wrist cutter and a crier and a dreamer and a throw-myself-at-walls-and-screamer. 

One fateful day I tripped and fell into Jenni’s blog; I fell in love with her and her love story, and she gave me the courage to share my own. 

So I wrote her a love letter. Bloggers who inspire deserve love letters. Just sayin’.

I’m getting married in three months and my betrothed had a vasectomy. Sad face. And so it has been foretold that we shall enter into our married lives first as lovers, then, as pincushions. But wait! Bad news for me is good news for you! Adventures in infertility will make for a mighty fun blog adventure, being sprinkled as they will between posts about ghosts , confessions to being lost and found, and all the fun crumbles of life as I live it.

Truth is, life can be sweet, salty, sour, bitter and umami, sometimes all at once and that is so not delicious. But it’s life and it’s such a wild ride, isn't it? Some days you’ll laugh with me, some days you’ll cry with me, but you’ll always get unbridled, unhinged and unfiltered me. That’s a promise. And a threat. 

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I found fall

Pirouetting Autumn

The tree blushed - a rude blast of air


Betrayed a shapely bough. 


My saddened heart aware


That Nature's clock was chiming, 


I froze upon the twelfth 


Clanging tone, caught alone, 


Staring at a creaking door -


Left ajar for dancing, coloured Autumn, 


Pirouetting in her leaves, 


While agitated summer creatures


Backed away resignedly, 


Sighing in protracted breves.


I turned; gave company; 


We stood together, watching


Summer slowly blow away.

~ Mark R. Slaughter

The one thing I'll never come to terms with about Austin is our lack of a consistent Autumn. In September, when it seems like the rest of the world is buzzing about the dropping temperatures and changing leaves and sweater weather and hot lattes, it's still a bazillion degrees here, and I begin to become extremely perturbed by our location within the hemisphere. Fall is just my favorite season, and we get ripped off a bit here in Texas. Teased with a few chilly days before the temps hike back up for a week. Teased for a few more chilly days, before the temps hike back up for a week. And so on and so forth. It may or may not even be cold on Thanksgiving and Christmas. So annoying!

But the conditions here this fall have made for a bit more leaf-changing, most especially at a little park where I held a photo session over the weekend (Old Settlers Park, for you curious Austinites). It was a hazy, chilly morning, and I drove up to scope out the lay of the land before my clients arrived and was so happily surprised by the beautiful colors I found. Damnit if they didn't make me want to run straight home for a hot bath and some spiced cider.

Enjoy your Monday, whatever part of the world you're in... :)

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When a blog starts to suck

Shirt: c/o Lulu's, Leggings: gifted, Bag: Ruche, Shoes: c/o Minnetonka

Last week I received a comment from a reader about how much my blog is sucking lately, and I must say, I have to agree with her. 

When I started this blog three years ago, I was 23 years old and a housewife. I had almost no other responsibilities, so I decided to treat blogging like my full time job. I poured myself into it, and I don't regret that one single bit. I owe this blog and my wonderful readers so much. It has honestly been such a fun ride, and has taught me so much.

But I am an all or nothing kind of girl. I'm not very good at being awesome at more than one thing at a time, and lately, my all has gone to my photography business. Because I truly love it, yes, but also due to pure necessity. We need my business to pay our bills until Matthew finishes school and finds a job, which won't be for another 6+ months. So naturally, I have been investing a great deal of time, energy, and creativity into the biz (which, I'm happy to say, is booming), leaving very little for this blog. In turn, there's been too much sponsor stuff because I lack inspiration and don't have enough time to create great content in between advertorial posts, and I just feel like the authenticity and FUN is gone. For the first time, blogging has felt like an annoying chore, like scrubbing a toilet, but I've continued doing it because it provides a little bit of income that we need. But I've been frustrated and annoyed by all of the trying too hard, and all of the curated realities... and mine is one of them. 

So what am I saying here? To be perfectly honest, I don't even really know myself. I don't want to shut this blog down completely. That would feel like cutting off an appendage, actually. It's become such a part of who I am. But I know that when you do something half-heardedly, when it no longer brings you joy, it starts to show. So I am in the process of majorly rethinking how I want blogging to fit into my life, and I guess I just ask for your patience while I do so. In the future, probably starting in December or January, I see a lot less advertorial stuff and probably a bit less posting, in general. The old phrase, "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" comes to mind. I'd love to blog when I have something I really want to share, not because I'm trying to fit in a certain number of posts in between sponsor-related posts. 

Blogging is weird. 

CHEATER

Did you know there are only three more days of Blogtember?! So proud of all you who've stuck with me this long! Today's prompt is to write about a time you screwed up - a mistake you made.

Last time I can recall, I was in about 1st grade.

Kidding! But I did majorly screw up and cheat on a spelling test back then. To this day, it's one of my most vivid memories. I guess I wasn't prepared for the test, so I filled out a sheet with all the correctly spelled words, and placed it on the ground beside my chair (I was home-schooled at that point, so I did my work at the kitchen table). I remember my heart pounding in my chest, and feeling so nervous that my mom would catch me. I was probably acting pretty unnatural, and of course also kept sneaking peeks at the paper on the ground during the test.  I totally got caught and spanked, and I felt horrible, HORRIBLE, afterwards.  Like such a disappointment.

I've never liked breaking rules, since then. Of course there was another small bout with cheating in 9th grade geometry class... me and my friends may or may not have written formulas on our thighs and peeked at them during tests (we wore those God-awful plaid private school skirts), HOWEVER, I never got caught for that and geometry is bullshit anyway. Probably the worst subject of all time, and I knew I had no future where the Pythagorean Theorem was concerned. Quite frankly, I don't even feel bad.

But mistakes. I feel like I'm one of those people who really does live their life tiptoeing around them. I try to never make mistakes, though of course sometimes I still do. All I know now is that the mistakes I have made have always, always made me a better person and taught me a valuable lesson. So in that sense,  mistakes aren't so bad sometimes, if you don't abuse your privilege to make them.

Share your links below, if you're participating in Blogtember! :)

COMFORT

Today's Blogtember prompt: React to this term: comfort.

Oh, comfort. My life has not been comfortable in some areas lately. I'd rather not go into detail, but trust me on that one. There have been moments where everything comfortable for me has been threatened, has felt destroyed, has been in question. But so far I’ve learned that the times I’ve been most uncomfortable have also been the times I achieved the most growth in my life and in my relationships. Comfort is not something we should seek exclusively. Where is the adventure in that? Where is the becoming-better?  If you find the only decisions you’re ever making are comfortable ones, there may be some reevaluating in order.

It’s interesting that I would pick this particular prompt for this particular day in September, some weeks ago when I made the list. Interesting, indeed.

Comfort is a nice feeling, but you’d never know what it means to lie in a truly soft place unless you’d also experienced the opposite. Be grateful for discomfort in your life, as well as comfort, because they really are two sides of the same coin, you know?

That's about the best I can come up with, for a Friday. :)

Tell us about what comfort means to you in the linkup below today's featured SOML sponsors... :)

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Miss Shanna writes a fabulous blog called Because Shanna Said So, and if you haven't heard of her yet, well... you might want to check and see if you're under a large rock! ;) Shanna is a wife and mama to two beautiful girls, an Austinite, and her blog features stories from her life and lots and lots of fantastic fashion inspiration. First get to know her a little better here, then browse some of her style posts here. You will fall in love with this lovely southern lady, I guarantee it. 

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Stunningly pretty Anna writes a blog called Happy Medley, and her story is quite unique. This lovely lady was born and raised in Russia, but her family moved to the states when she was a bit older - with only 8 suitcases to their name! Anna learned English, met a fellow Russian guy and started a family (how cute are they?), and she now writes a life and style blog full of "ideas for a happy and simple life." Drop in and say hello! :)

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HAPPY FRIDAY!

Moments

Day 11 of Blogtember is simply a memory you'd love to relive.

And you know, I've been thinking hard about this one, and the conclusion I've come to is kind of eye opening. If I could relive a memory, it wouldn't be one of our amazing trips to Hawaii or New York or South America, or the time I lived in Germany as a child, or even a moment on my wedding day or something obvious like that.

No. I would relive a family dinner, sitting opposite my Grandma and listening to her stories. I would relive a long, tight hug, and the way she smelled and how soft her skin was. I would relive the laughter when she scoffed at a photo I took of her, and said she looked "too old" or "too wrinkly." I would relive moments with Edd, the time he told me he always wanted a daughter, the time I almost crushed him with an uncharacteristic-for-our-relationship hug when he came home from the hospital after another surgery, another scare, another close brush with death. I'd relive simple moments with people I love. And it's so eye opening to realize that those are the moments I'd choose, because they happen every day, and we take them for granted. Inspires me to slow down, experience, and enjoy the people in my life and the important things. Because people really are the important things.

Read a little more about Edd here

Read a little more about my Grandma here

What about you? What memory would you relive? (And don't worry, no one will judge you if you chose that trip to Disney or something!) ;)

How has social media changed you?

Day 8 Blogtember topic: Discuss ways that blogging or social media has changed you.

This one is difficult for me because blogging and social media has changed my life so much that I hardly know where to begin. For the sake of this exercise, I just went back to the very first post on my very first blog - if you’re wondering, it was on July 6th, 2008. It’s interesting, because I found that my writing voice and style has actually not changed much at all since then. But boy, so many other things sure have.

Blogging and social media have had many both positive and negative effects on my life. For one thing, they’ve caused this addiction in me to share my experiences with others. I used to live my life in a solitary fashion - you know, like most people do - but now, if I can’t photograph it, instagram it, tweet it, blog it, share it with the world, it almost feels like it wasn’t even worth doing. It’s such a strange thing, and when I put it that way, it sounds sort of negative (not to mention pathetic). But I find that in my life, this is a good thing. I am naturally disinclined to change, grow, experience new things, and get out of my comfort zone. Blogging and social media have helped me be less that way. Because, you know, my blog would be boring as hell if I remained a sad stagnant hermit covered in dog hair who mostly never leaves the house.

A second way that blogging, in particular, has changed me, is that it’s given me confidence I never, ever had before. I specifically remember being at the grocery store one day, a few months after I started Story of My Life and after I had picked up a few dozen or maybe a couple hundred readers by then. I remember noticing I had this extra spring in my step, and a stronger sense of self than I had ever had before. I remember noticing that and then immediately attributing it to my blog. People cared what I had to say, my great passion for writing was being affirmed, and I was connecting with people in a way I was missing in my “real” life! It just generally felt really nice. To have found a niche, a hobby, and something I knew I could excel at.

Social media has also caused me to be really freaking ADD/all-over-the-place, which I discussed in this post (the response to it was pretty incredible… so many of us suffer with this!). Since I already talked about it, I won’t go into anymore detail on that one. I’m getting a LITTLE better about this though. Re-training myself to focus when I really need to. It’s not easy.

And finally, this conversation would be so incomplete if I didn’t mention the way that blogging and social media have had an incredibly globalizing effect on my life - meaning, it’s brought the entire world right here into MY world. The things I have learned have been countless. The relationships I’ve made have been priceless. The art and talent I’ve been exposed to have been inspiring and invaluable. Basically, it's all made a giant world feel so much smaller and less intimidating. Maybe that’s the optimist in me talking. But I think it mainly just comes from a place of genuine passion for social media and other humans and their endless abilities to share and create.

What about you? How has blogging and social media changed you? Speak up in a comment or in the linkup below!

One click changed it all

Blogtember Day 6. Describe a distinct moment when your life took a turn. I'm not really going with the obvious answer for this one. I could say something like "the day I met my husband," and that would most certainly be a time my life took a complete 180 degree turn, but I've already told that story. You can read it here, if you fancy.

No, the defining moment I wanted to write about today was so much more subtle. I didn't fully understand it at the time, but now I see that moment as the beginning of something really important in my life. It was in late October of 2010, and I attended a family Halloween party. I was snapping photos with my little point-and-shoot digital camera, but then my mother-in-law asked me to take a few of her and her mom, since they both had cute costumes on. She handed me her DSLR camera, and I started snapping.

photo cred: Smitten Imagery

It's not very often that you remember the way you actually felt in a particular moment years in the past, or remember the actual thoughts that went through your mind. It must be an exceptional feeling or thought, whether positive or negative, to cause it to stand out among a million other memories. But that's how I remember that moment. As something very quietly exceptional. I fell in love with the way that camera felt in my hands. I fell in love with the sound of the shutter clicking as I snapped. It felt as though some tiny little light snapped on, like something woke up inside me that I hadn't previously known existed.

And then I proceeded to badger my husband for the entire month of November, until he purchased me a DSLR for my birthday. ;)

Since then I've taken plenty of bad pictures, tried to sell some of those bad pictures on Etsy (hahahahah), experimented with editing styles that make me cringe to look back on, started a business, done things wrong, done things right, made great friends in my clients, and continue to learn and grow along the way. I've realized that you don't just go from zero to incredibly amazing as a photographer (or anything, for that matter) overnight. It takes lots and lots of time and practice and hard work and honing that only comes from time and practice and hard work. I am nowhere near where I'd like to be as a photographer. But do I feel completely in my element? YES! And I can trace it all back to that one little moment back in October of 2010, when my life took a turn. Funny how that works sometimes... ;) Tell us about your turning points in the link up below. Happy Tuesday!

Where my ENFPs at

Day five of Blogtember! Take this short personality test and respond to your results. (more detailed info on the Blogtember prompts post)

Dress: c/o Hazel & Olive | Belt: Target | Necklace: c/o Moorea Seal | Bag: Target

Hope you all had a nice and restful weekend! We're back at Blogtember today, and I hope that even those of you who are simply quiet readers or not participating in the writing challenge will still complete the Jung typology test and determine your profile type. It's really quite interesting! I've mentioned it here briefly before, so some of you may have already completed the test.

I'm an ENFP. ENFP through and through! My jaw must have hit the floor when I took this test for the first time. It pegged me so perfectly that it was almost weird. Both my good traits, and my bad ones. Then I had Matthew take the test too, and it was actually one of the best things we've ever done for our relationship, funny enough. To see some of those qualities we both admire and, let's face it, despise in each other written out like that, all scientific-like, was so, so interesting. It has actually helped us to accept one another's strengths and weaknesses, and move on a bit from focusing on the negative so much. (he is an INTJ, by the way!)

Here's just a few points that really stood out to me as true about myself:

"Because ENFPs live in a world of exciting possibilities, the details of everyday life are seen as trivial drudgery. They place no importance on detailed, maintenance-type tasks, and will frequently remain oblivious to these types of tasks. When they do have to perform these tasks, they do not enjoy themselves. This is a challenging area of life for most ENFPs, and can be frustrating for ENFP's family members." - from here

-Things like cooking and cleaning are extremely difficult for me to focus on. It was interesting to learn that this is a very strong characteristic of my personality type.

"ENFPs have what some call a "silly switch." They can be intellectual, serious, all business for a while, but whenever they get the chance, they flip that switch and become CAPTAIN WILDCHILD, the scourge of the swimming pool, ticklers par excellence. Sometimes they may even appear intoxicated when the "switch" is flipped." - from here

-This could not be more true! Matthew and I had a laugh at this one. Often late at night I turn into a very annoying and silly other-version of myself, like some sort of weird split personality. I have no idea why. Must just be an ENFP thing! ;)

"One ENFP colleague, a social worker, had such tremendous interpersonal skills that she put her interviewers at ease during her own job interview. She had the ability to make strangers feel like old friends." - from here

-Specifically that last line rings true for me. I connect with almost everyone I meet. My #1 goal is always to make people feel accepted, admired, and like a friend.

"ENFPs are basically happy people. They may become unhappy when they are confined to strict schedules or mundane tasks. Consequently, ENFPs work best in situations where they have a lot of flexibility, and where they can work with people and ideas. Many go into business for themselves. They have the ability to be quite productive with little supervision, as long as they are excited about what they're doing." from here

-All the above ring so true for me. I've always wanted to work for myself. I do really well on things I'm excited about. I am basically a really happy person, and I don't stress a lot. The times in my life when I've been least happy are when I've been "confined to schedules or mundane tasks." 

I could keep going, but those are some of the major ones I wanted to respond to about my type. Hope you all enjoyed this exercise as much as I did! 

Dress: c/o Hazel & Olive | Belt: Target | Necklace: c/o Moorea Seal | Bag: Target

*I recommend putting your letter personality type in the link title, so people with the same type can meet others like them! :)

Call me Unsolicited Advice Girl

Blogtember Day 3. Pass on some useful advice or information you learned and always remembered. 

Advice. I'm drawing a blank on this one! The funny thing is, I am a chronic unsolicited advice-giver. Oh, you have a problem? I know just the thing you should do!  And I will share it with you, even if you didn't ask! This trait has gotten me into trouble a couple of times. It's in my nature to want to help make things better for people, so I give advice. But some people just want to be listened to. Maybe that's my advice today. Some people just want to be listened to. They just want you to say, "yeah, that must be really tough. I'm so sorry you're going through that." Sometimes they don't want to be given an entire roadmap with detailed instructions on how to maneuver their current situation and come out on the other side, a better and more successful human. Even if you feel you can offer that. Some people just want to be heard.

ALSO. Here's something my dentist once told me, and it was life-altering. Think you don't have bad breath? When you floss your teeth, smell the floss. Particularly if you don't floss often. It will scare the shit out of you into flossing, I promise. Sorry that's gross, but you might've needed to hear it.

You're welcome. That is all.

Shirt: Ruche, Jeans: J. Crew, Necklace: c/o Noonday Collection, Boots: Langford Market

Side note: Have you heard of Noonday Collection? I love me a good company-with-a-cause. Proudly wearing a piece from them in today's outfit post. Check them out. (the lookbook is stunning!)

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Share your advice posts below! :) Happy Thursday!

and PS - did you see Bonnie's guest post just before this one, on 10 Not-So-Obvious Blogging Tips? Talk about great ADVICE! Check it out.

***If the link list below isn't showing up for you, clear your temporary internet files and it should work! :)***

What I come from

Day 1 of Blogtember! I've been so excited to see bloggers getting pumped over this challenge. If you're participating, I hope you enjoy the topics and make lots of new friends this month! Or if you're just reading along, as always, WELCOME and THANK YOU. Hope you enjoy the topics as much as I have a feeling I'll enjoy writing on them. You can expect some other routine SOML posts as well, so get ready for a busy month around here! :)

Today's prompt asks that you describe where or what you come from. The people, the places, and/or the factors that make up who you are.

Several months ago now I sat down to dinner with my sweet late grandma, who was perfectly healthy at the time but gone just a few short weeks later after a blood vessel burst in her brain. She's the beauty in the photo above, taken on her wedding day. Those of you reading a while now may remember that time and how my family’s heart broke with grief that she was gone. I still miss her every single day. But I remember that dinner like it was yesterday, and how I laughed because she was being her usual sweet and spunky self and said something silly and sarcastic, and I remember feeling so proud of the type of women I come from. Women that stand up for themselves and speak their mind and have an opinion of their own but are also kind and expressive and demonstrative and intelligent and strong and full of empathy and good humor. I felt overwhelmed with this pride in my grandma and also a desire to be more and more like her.  So much of who I am today seems to have been passed to me straight down the line from my grandma and mom - everything from migraines to mood swings to gaining weight in the ass region. But I couldn’t be more proud to come from them. 

I guess this discussion wouldn’t be complete, though, without saying that there’s a little bit of darkness there too, in where I come from. I come from hardworking and passionate people, yes, but I’ve learned a lot about my family on both sides and I also know that we are prone to addiction, mental illness, and disfunctionality of many kinds. I feel that in myself, sometimes. People who are close to me see it there, twinges of it. Many of the people I come from are profoundly empathatic and feel things very deeply, but we tend to have poor follow-through in relationships, scary tempers, and unhealthy levels of ego. So basically, it’s an intersting concoction, my blood. A funny mix of light and dark I always feel competing in me.  But in the words of Sirius Black, “we’ve all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That’s who we really are.” 

There's so many ways to interpret this prompt, and I could go on and on. But I'll leave it at that for now.  Can't wait to see what everyone else has to say... leave your links below! :)

*note: the scroll bar may not show up on your computer, but this list is enclosed in a scroll window, so be sure and scroll with your mouse to see the full list!

Friday thoughts

Matthew and I watched about two hours of crime shows before we went to bed last night - kind of grizzly stuff about serial killers and rapists and women being attacked and going missing. And then we went to bed, and it turns out that shit affected us more than we thought, because he had a horrible nightmare about me being abducted and murdered and stuffed into a trash shoot, and then when he woke me up to cuddle, I was disoriented and confused and thought he was an intruder coming to murder me, and I almost clobbered him. I didn’t know why he was being so sweet and tender at the time, but I wondered if he could hear my heart pounding before I settled into his arms and drifted back off to sleep.

I don’t really know why I’m telling that story, but I guess because I’m feeling so grateful this morning. I know we live in a world full of a lot of horror, and in a strange way it was nice to be reminded of our fears - sometimes your greatest fears help you to realize what you value and cherish most deeply. It’s always a good thing, to be reminded of that.

Matthew starts an internship with the Supreme Court of Texas today.  I still smell his cologne on my pjs from our hug before he left. I am so proud of him.  And I just wanted to say that, because I feel it more than ever this morning.

Sorry for my rambling. Check out today's featured SOML sponsors - maybe they'll have something a little more cohesive to say than I do! ;) Happy Friday...

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Rachel is the mastermind behind the sweet blog Postcards from Rachel - I think you'll really love this one! The blog started while Rachel and her husband were expats living in Scotland, but now documents their time living back in the States. You can go right over here for an excellent introduction to Postcards from Rachel, and if you're on Instagram, you may find today's post really useful and fun, too!

Blog | Facebook | Twitter

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Serendipitous Whimsicality is an adorable blog co-authored by two adorable best friends, Ellie and Fatima. I really enjoyed this post by Ellie about her recent trip to Guatemala (more posts on the trip here!). These two also produce the occasional fashion and travel posts. Drop by and say hello to these two cute bloggers! :)

Blog | Facebook | Twitter

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The Mermaid Chronicles is a favorite blog of mine by the ever-lovely Devon, an incredible writer, photographer, and surfer. Her words and photos tell a story that draws you in and keeps you there. Check out her amazing sailing trip to the Seychelles, and don't miss today's tour of her and her husband's adorable beach-bungalow-themed home. The before and after photos are stunning. Apparently we can add interior decorator to Devon's list of talents, as well!  ;)

Blog | Instagram | Bloglovin

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Have a great weekend! 

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