Wednesday, 31 July 2013
The end of one era, the beginning of another
Today might just be another Wednesday for you, but for us, it's a big, big day. A special occasion, really. The end of something we're not sad to see go. The beginning of something else, even though we're not quite sure what that will look like...
Once again, I haven't been completely honest with my blog. For the last two years, actually! August 15th, 2011, I wrote a post about Matthew starting up law school, and now here we are, almost August of 2013, and he is pretty much done. The guy crammed a three year program into two, because he's crazy like that, and while he won't graduate officially until December or take the bar until February, we are done with living apart.
See how I slipped that in there? Living apart! For the last two years, I only saw my husband on weekends and holidays, because he went to school in a different city. Sometimes he wouldn't come home a weekend at all, if he had too much work to do, or finals to study for. I've spent more time alone in the last two years than ever before in my life, and of course it was lonely and frustrating at times, for both of us. For safety reasons I never broadcasted that I was living alone all week, even though it was such a big part of my life the last two years. It's hard to keep that kind of thing quiet, you know? When all you want to do is scream, "I WANT A NORMAL LIFE! I WANT A HUSBAND! THIS ISN'T WHAT I SIGNED UP FOR!"
I say that with a smile on my face, really. We survived it. In fact, I'd even go as far as to say we thrived during this period, especially in our own separate endeavors. Matthew and I are both really independent individuals, we both had plenty of our own stuff going on to keep us busy, and I actually wonder if his living away during the week made the whole thing a little easier on both of us. Like, an out of sight, out of mind type of thing. Since we weren't living together, I couldn't focus on the fact that he was always studying and never had time for me. Instead, I just did my own thing. Kept up my blog, started my business, made lots of relationships here in Austin. It worked out, and now, tonight, he'll come home and this will be over. We'll have to acclimate to each other again, find a new routine. But I think we're both so excited for that... it's like letting out a breath you've been holding for a long time. A sigh of relief. "Real life" won't start until he gets a job after the bar, but wait, scratch that. THIS IS real life. It's our real life now. Being together again. Learning to put someone else at the same level of priority as yourself. Waiting for our new home to be finished. Enjoying time with my mom in the meantime. Dreaming about the future. Working hard to make that future happen. This is real life NOW. We always have to remind ourselves to stop waiting for it to begin, when it truly already has.
Anyway, PHEW. It feels good to get that off my chest. I'm so excited for what's to come, you guys! Matthew and I really want to have FUN this next year. He still has lots of work and studying for the bar to do, and he starts an internship this fall, but we want to try lots of new things (remember the Happy documentary?) and really work on our relationship before bringing little spawns into the picture. Wish us luck. ;)
*PS - I feel the need to apologize for the quality of that picture up top there. We snapped it on my phone at our new house last night, not thinking it would ever be shared, but it turns out I don't have many pictures of me and Matthew together... since you, know, I barely saw the guy the last couple years. ;)
*PPS - crazy how much progress there's been on our house in barely over a week, right?? They just started framing last Monday!