Wednesday, 5 December 2012

goodbye 25, hello 26

Well, it's my birthday today.  Goodbye 25, hello 26.

To be honest with you, I haven't exactly welcomed this birthday. It marks the end of my early twenties, and I find myself scratching my head and thinking, how did this all happen so fast? Where did the last 6 six years go? I vaguely remember turning 20... shrugging when I turned 21... feeling bummed when I turned 22, cause most of the cool birthdays were over with. And then the rest is just a blur. Will that be how it is every year, from this point forward? A blur? 

The last year leading up to 26 has been one crazy ride. In March, someone I love died of cancer. A friend of Edd's asked my mom at the funeral if he suffered, and what could she say? Yes, he suffered. There's no sugar coating it. And I still can't put into words what that was like to be there, to be part of that. It was a defining time of life for me.

Matthew and I have also had our ups and downs this year. We may have this awesome love story up there in the tabs, but man, being married is hard sometimes. I won't pretend we have it all figured out.  Two type A personalities decided to walk through life together, and the line "a tornado meets a volcano" seems pretty fitting sometimes. But man oh man, I love that guy. I would walk to the ends of the earth and back for him, and I think we've both realized that's what matters most. When forgiveness seems impossible, when you have to lay down your pride completely, when you have to choose to see the things you love and couldn't bear to give up. That's what matters--that you'll do those things for love.

I've become more grateful than ever for my friends this year, both old and new. I've come to realize how much those connections mean to me, and I'm doing a better job, I hope, of showing them. I'm learning about languages of love. Loving someone is almost useless if you don't learn to show it in the way people need to be loved. 

So I guess 25 mostly taught me that love is all we have. Love is all we have. It transforms you. Helps you to do hard things. Helps you to feel empathy for others, even when you don't understand them or agree. I don't know about you, but I can spot a love-filled person from a mile away. Your spirit picks up on some invisible light. I've seen it, I've felt it, and I want to emulate it. 

I think that 26 will be a year for love.

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