Wednesday, 9 January 2013

Conversations of Winter Break

Matthew's winter break is coming to a close, and this Monday, when law school fires back up on all cylinders, our lives will undoubtedly return to their usual state of loneliness, alienation, and despair.

Throughout the last month, I have recorded several of our more memorable conversations, if only so that I can read them later when I need reminding that my husband does, indeed, have a soul and even a sense of humor... when law school is not robbing him of all earthly pleasures and joys, that is. (just kidding, babe... you know I love you.)

Please enjoy the excerpts below, and Happy Wednesday!

Jenni: (folding a pair of old pj's) "Why do I keep these? I don't even like them and they are so old and gross. I'm throwing them away."

Matthew: "Don't throw them away! I'll put them in our end-of-the-world clothing reserve. You might love those one day."

* * * * *

Matthew: "What's up with all these creepy elf pictures people are putting on Facebook?"

Jenni: (explains the Elf on a Shelf phenomenon.)

Matthew: "We should get an elf and Barbie doll and post pictures of them banging."

* * * * *

Jenni: "You've been using lots of new big words since going to law school."

Matthew: "I do not believe that to be true."

Jenni: "Yesterday you said analogous."

Matthew: "That is erroneous!"

* * * * *

Jenni: "Did you know I've been recording* our conversations for use on a future blog post? Would you like to hear what I have so far?"

Matthew: "Yes I would. Especially since it's illegal to record my words without my consent. You are in violation of federal wire tapping laws, and I could punish you severely."

*note: I meant I have been recording them as in writing them down, not as in recording with sound.

* * * * *

Matthew: "Is there any chance you'll be entering the PMS stage while on our trip?"

Jenni: "No. And even if I was, I maintain that you have full control of the situation by how you treat me during that time."

Matthew: "That is ridiculous. Your PMS is not my problem."

(debate over the factuality of this statement ensues, Matthew maintaining that my PMS is not his problem and he shouldn't have to do anything different during this time; rather, I should control my emotions.)

Jenni: "I am unwavering in my position. I will experience a hormonal imbalance once per month for pretty much the rest of our lives, and the way you react to my initial testiness determines how far a potential issue will escalate. The ball is in your court."

Matthew: "You are like Obama. You can't be reasoned with."

* * * * *

Jenni: (returns Matthew's 52 page law school paper he asked her to read.) "Here you go, all finished. I'm going to go blow my brains out now."

Matthew: "Can you imagine having to write and read that stuff all day, every day, for every class?"

Jenni: "No, I can't. I would rather live forever in poverty than go to law school."

Matthew: "Yeah, there's a reason lawyers get paid so much. They deal with all the stuff that makes everyone else want to blow their brains out."

* * * * *

Jenni: (we refer to "Team MJ" occasionally to remind ourselves to play on the same team/build each other up) "You're not being very nice to me right now. What happened to Team MJ?"

Matthew: "Team MJ is no more. Team MJ is an expansion team in Paraguay."

* * * * *

And there you have it, folks. Just a small peek into the life and times of Jenni and Matthew. Hope one or two of these gave you a chuckle. :)

No comments:

Post a Comment