Wednesday, 8 May 2013

On how to love

Day 8 of Blog Every Day in May is "a piece of advice you have for others," and somehow this post was so easy for me. Right away I knew I would advise you to learn your primary love languages, if you don't already know them, and also learn the love languages of people you care about. This is the best website--just follow the prompts on the main screen and take the quick test. If you'd like to know your love languages in a romantic relationship, choose "married" (even if you're just dating--the same principles apply) or choose "single" if you'd like to know your love languages in the context of friendships.

I've learned over the years that we all tend to love others in the language that we most like to be loved in, but if you want to truly care for someone, you find out what makes them feel most loved... and do your best to love them that way. For example, my love language is always, hands down, Words of Affirmation. You can buy me a beautiful gift or clean my whole house or spend a day of quality time with me, and I'll appreciate those things and still feel really loved, but Words of Affirmation... those are what bring me to tears and really touch me beyond what anything else can. I tend to love people in my life with this language, because it's what makes most sense to me, but I forget that we're not all the same in this way.  Matthew's primary love language is Acts of Service, and he'd take a delicious dinner or a pile of clean, folded laundry over gushing praise any day.  I have to remember that.  I've heard it said that perhaps we should change the adage "do unto others as you would have them do unto you" to "do unto others as THEY would have you do onto them." In the case of love languages, the latter is a little more applicable. Just some food for thought, and a little advice for your Wednesday. :)

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